Who Are You

“Drops of rain wash away, the love story written in black and white. But Love, though unwritten; remains long after, in the heart.”~Tsangyang

I suppose it is okay to cry when it rains. Maybe it should be synchronized with our DNA. Just as Mother Nature is cleansing the air, giving vitality to the Earth, it is necessary for us as human beings to do the same. To stay inside the warm house on a fall day, cuddled up with our thoughts and feelings. To drop tears only forces us to go inside the heart and rinse our cloudy minds, deciphering what is real and what is illusion. Without rain and tears we have the potential to dry up…

Have you ever wonder what else is out there? That there must be something bigger and better beyond what we can only scratch on the surface?  Have you ever contemplated why you do the things you do that you wish you did not do? And how are there so many people in this world all completely different and where do they all come from? Born and dying each minute, again and again, year after year, decades after decades and so forth and so on…

I spent my entire summer wrapped up in the dramas of my life and others. In hindsight, I have wasted precious time that I could have been focused on my well-being and I could be at a higher state of Self-Realization than I am now. That’s okay with me because at least I am on the path, although my ego questions, ‘why me’? Why I am chosen to this knowledge that life as we know it is not what it seems, but what we have created?

From the standpoint of Ayurveda and Dr. Halpern of CCA, forgetting our true nature as Spirit is the primordial cause of all disease. But what does this mean? “I know, who I am!” I scream in my head. Or so I think I know?

“Who are you?” the teacher asks.

“Well uhh I am Brittany, a daughter, sister, Radford University graduate, traveler, teacher and now student.”

“No, no. Go deeper. Who are you?” He demands.

“I am the Divine?” Shaky and unsure and questioning my answer.

“Yes! You are the same as God.”

But you are more than that he tells me. You are the wind, the rain, and the trees. And you are this because like the wind, the rain and the trees you are made up of the same elements. All belonging to the same creator.

“What do you see in the world?” He questions.

“I see beauty…long pause…and evil.”

“Then that is what you are.” He responds.

For the past week I have marinated on these questions. I have fought with my ego about what all this ‘mumble-jumble’ is about.  I get it, I am made up of elements! I am ether, air, fire, water and earth. I am just a soul, guarded by a body that is my vessel and I am just here to play on Earth’s Shakespearean stage. :::Clapboard::: ACTION!

On the phone my mother inquires, “Are you in a cult?”

“No mom, I’m just finding out what this school is all about,” I respond, incredibly happy about what I have been learning.

When you know something deeper resides within you yet you cannot attach words to it, it paralyzes you. I believe I have been paralyzed for most of my life and I am just starting to move, to open and to again question and ponder my Life’s Purpose. Why can’t I continue to work in the food and beverage industry and drink and drink and drink and spend my days off on the beautiful beaches and under the sun of Charleston, SC (oh it’s so fun!) and others can? Because deep within me I know that there is more to life than that for my soul, much, much more.

So who are you? And what do you see in this world?